We are going to need a bigger boat

The Goon

He's the proud Polish gentle giant of the trio. The moniker is self-inflicted; an omaĝe to the lovable character from the Popeye cartoons. A lover of the Boston Red Sox, vocal music, and perogies, The Goon can be found indulging in all of the above, sometimes simultaneously.

The Chief

A tormented soul who has traveled the world gaining knowledge of cultures and things mysterious. He is the resident conspiracy expert who like his ancestors thinks there is something afoot.

Crutch

The shortest (by far) of the trio; so short he doesn't even get a "The". What he lacks in height he makes up for in long-winded rants and interrupting The Chief and The Goon. But they keep him around because he actually enjoys audio engineering the show.